Friday, February 16, 2007

Azriels Reply to Left Cold by Love

Dear Cold,

Girl, if he wasn't already dead I'd suggest you let me come take care of things for you. Talk about transparent, honey—this boyfiend of yours is obviously not concerned about your needs. You are the victim of a hit-it-and-run operation and you have got to put a stop to it. Tell him this relationship doesn't stand a ghost of a chance if he won't stop with the spirit-sh** and talk turkey. If he still won't take you seriously, it's time for a little Ghostbuster action, if you know what I mean.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Dead Boyfriend Pulls Vanishing Act

Dear Azriel,

My boyfriend is dead, which makes things hard enough. I can't save him a seat at the movie theater. I can't invite him over to family dinners. I can't really hold hands with him in public because, most of the time, I'm the only one who can see him. And when he does show himself in public, it really weirds people out. But I can live with all of that. What I can't live with is his refusal to commit. Every time I want to talk about where this relationship is going, he simply evaporates. He acts like he can't control it but I know better. He has no problem showing up in the middle of the night when I'm trying to sleep and pulling the covers off of me. He doesn't suddenly and uncontrollably disappear just before he reaches orgasm...although, come to think of it, he sometimes does before I reach mine. He has no problem hanging around the entire time I have a male friend over. (I'm not involved with this guy romantically, by the way, and my boyfriend knows it.) How can I get him to stand still long enough to talk with me about our relationship?

~ Left Cold by Love